I have a friend who seems to know everyone in his Springfield neighborhood—and I mean really know.
For at least a half dozen houses in either direction, he’s cultivated relationships in which he and his neighbors share everything from propane heaters for weathering winter power outages to impromptu Sunday night meals to help with home repairs.
I admire this. I also recognize that my friend’s experience building community is, unfortunately, not that common.
Consider these facts, according to a 2018 Pew Research Center survey.
• Most Americans (57%) say they know only some of their neighbors; fewer (26%) say they know most.
• Among Americans who know at least some of their neighbors, a majority (58%) say they never meet them for get-togethers.
• Eight in 10 adults ages 65 and older say they are comfortable leaving a set of keys with their neighbors, compared with just half of those ages 18 to 29.
I would like to see how these numbers have evolved post-pandemic. I’m guessing they may be even more grim.
As we face an uncertain future on many fronts, be it the climate crisis, the plague of isolation and loneliness, or a politically polarized nation, building community is more important than ever.
None of us can or should tackle these challenges alone.
So, how did my friend build his community? Is he super friendly and outgoing? Does his smile light up a room? I am still determining exactly how he did it, but I have some guesses.
To formulate my guesses, I found a Moving.com article entitled “12 Tips for Getting to Know Your Neighbors,” which highlighted suggestions ranging from “wave and smile” to “attend neighborhood meetings.” I did my best to match each idea to my friend’s actions.
Interestingly, my friend is not someone I would call stereotypically friendly. He rarely smiles and has a dry, biting sense of humor that not everyone embraces. So right away, suggestion No. 1—”wave and smile”—didn’t apply. However, he does some things on the list very well, including sharing meals, offering help, and being outside his home and available for interaction.
The point is clear: you don’t have to excel at all 12 tips, but if you do even a few, you’re on your way to building community. We can all do it, and we need to do it.
This month, I challenge you to do just one thing: get to know one of your neighbors you don’t already know. Have a chat. Bring them cookies. Invite them over for iced tea. Start small, but do something, now more than ever.
Daniel Hiestand is the Lane County Waste Reduction Outreach Coordinator and a monthly columnist for The Chronicle.