McMenamins UFO Festival: Feeding my need for all things extraterrestrial

If you're being abducted, might as well enjoy a beer. PHOTO PROVIDED/LYNDSEY HEWITT

Thanks to my initials and to Steven Spielberg, I can't tell you how many times I've been told to ”phone home” in my 27 years on this planet.
I call my mother nearly everyday, but kudos for that clever reminder, guys.
I didn't phone home last Saturday, however, as I was busy experiencing the extraterrestrial glory that is McMenamins UFO Festival in McMinnville. I texted Ma my plans, and she said, ”Oh . . .